Well my positive thoughts and plans for a better happier life have fallen flat.
I have failed. I have let myself down. Where did it go wrong.
Looking back over the time since new year and my so brave resolution that 2017 was going to be my year I have come to realise that I can blame no one but me.
I haven’t put me first, I can’t walk away from family commitments. My parents are elderly, becoming more dependent on me, I have two brothers, they should do their bit, but they don’t. I cannot “not” Why would I not? They gave me life, nurtured me, gave to me, supported me. How can I not help them now when they need support.
Work is again totally consuming my life. I went back to work with a new confident me, I saw the difference. But it didn’t take long for them to put me back where I belonged, or so it felt. Once I had lost my positivity I just decided to keep my mouth shut, just get on with my job and take their money (as a wage)
I have another thing that I blame, holds me back, takes my time and energy. Something that I don’t want to talk about on here, but I have another blog that I will put a link to later that will explain.
So there you go, all these reasons and excuses as to why my life hasn’t gone forward in the way I planned.
But they are excuses. If I want this to happen I have to put in the effort, find my confidence again, somehow find the energy.
I need to look at other avenues, other ways to earn my money.
The thing is I know I have it in me. I just have to find my way, the way.
It’s just so so difficult finding the time. 4 weeks holiday a year is just not enough……more reason to make changes, make things happen.
So I may be down but I’m not out. I still have fight in me, I can make this happen.
Stick with me. Hey and a bit of positive feedback would be amazing 😉